So...on this blog I try to be upbeat. Not complain too much. Stay positive. You get the idea...well today I have to vent. Lately I feel like all I am doing is picking up toys, cleaning our home, walking the dog, doing home errands, driving Memphis to and from school, helping with homework, laundry...laundry...laundry....and I am not doing enough for me. I have not been able to sew much.
When I do have a chance it seems I am either ready for bed (exhausted) or I have to help with something else that is not my own. Like this week...Memphis was sick Monday and Tuesday...stayed home from school. She had a cold virus, slight fever and felt really crummy. This is the week of her Valentine's day party in her class and the week that she got to go to a Valentine's day party in the evening. It was a fund raiser event for the PTA and we signed her up. Her best buddy was there and it was last night...she had a blast....but she did not finish her Valentine's due to afore mentioned sickness and barely had time for her homework. (because if you miss two days you have two additional days to catch up on) They also made their Valentine's day bags at school one of the days she was out sick and she did not have time for that either. Seriously, when your kid is feeling bad she barely has time to do her homework and eat dinner. So I helped her with all the homework, I made the Valentines, I made the bag for the Valentines and a few of my evenings were eaten up. That's okay, I want to help...I do love her to pieces after all and it is my job as Super Mama to help with all the little things. The little things always turn out to be the very most important things in the universe.....and all this week Soren (will be 2 years old in April) was a total spitfire and a half. Yelling, getting mad when he does not get what he wants right now, wanting something every 20 seconds, trying to eat snacks all the time instead of meals, throwing toys at his sister, biting and basically destroying worlds...well ours anyway. So this morning while I was in the middle of my usual madness that is my morning...trying to get Memphis to school on time...I was showing her the Valentines and telling her to make sure not to crush them. She looks in the bag and says 'oh great! They are supposed to be in alphabetical order' and then she stamps her foot down a few times and walks off in a huff. My feelings were very hurt. Then we drop her off and we go to TJ Maxx to find a small Valentine's gift for hubby...and the entire time Soren was bonkers and in the end he was just yelling. He had already thrown all the snacks I had brought on the ground and drank the bottle I had with us. So on the way home...while he was endlessly screaming...I cried just a little....but kinda really deep sobs. He fell asleep before I cried. I know, I know much worse things are happening in the world and I am a very lucky person to have all I have but today...today is the day that I have every once in awhile. The kind of day that I just feel lost...like I have lost myself just a little. I love both my kids dearly but today...today I am having a bit of trouble. I know tomorrow will be better (especially since Jason will be home) but today seems endless and so I thought I would vent. Say in words...put it out there and maybe just maybe I would find myself again...Happy Weekending to all of you...and to all you Ma's out there I just want to tell you YOU ARE MARVELOUS, FANTASTIC, GORGEOUS and you are doing a great job so just hang in there with me!! There is strength in numbers you know :)!