Ken (my birth Father) and My Ma...isn't she hip...I fold this photo and have it in a small frame...only my Ma's part shows.
It's Father's day weekend again and that means that I get the blues...I never notice it until it hits me. I get really blue, start weeping over really weird stuff and don't know why and then I look at a calendar and see that's it's almost Father's day. Today I dropped Memphis off to school and saw a group of Mother's walking with their kids, little babies and toddlers and I started to cry. I was like...'What the heck is the matter with me? and then it hit me...Father's day. You see my folks got divorced when I was 6 years old and shortly after the divorce we moved from Illinois to Washington and Ken has only seen me 2 times that I can recall. Once when I was really little maybe 8 or 9 and once when I was Jr. in highschool. Some years he remembered our Birthdays and Christmas and some years not. It was really, really hard to know that you had a Dad but he just didn't care to be a part of your life and for the longest time I thought it was my fault. Shortly after the Divorce...a few months...my Ma met my Step Dad. When we moved he didn't come with but about 6 months later he moved out to Washington and in with us. They never did get married but were together for 23 years. They had many problems through out the years. I remember a lot of fighting and yelling and we were often referred to as my Mother's kids. Usually when he was mad at one or both of us. He also told me at a very, very young age that when something goes wrong if you dig down deep enough you will find that somewhere along the lines you made a decision and it is your fault. Yeah, I know really nice thing to teach a young kid...it took me years and years to shake and still creeps in now and again. Anywho...this weekend is once again Father's day and my Step Dad's Birthday and I'm not going to celebrate either one...I might call though. I think this year is the year to let it all go and start a new tradition...one that is centered around my Husband who just happens to be the best Poppy in the world....man my kids are lucky.
So here's to you Jason...thanks for being such an amazing father to both of our children. They have no idea how lucky they are but I do!!!! :)