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Posted by Admin Eson on Friday, September 15, 2006 in

Today I feel overwhelmed. There is just sooooooooo much to do and never enough time. I want to live a more simple life. I want less stuff but it is sooooo hard to stop wanting. I think that my wanting stuff is the way I fill the gaps and holes in my life. It is so satifying to want something and think of a way to get it. Like sell some clothes, EBay some stuff sell some crafts. Then when you get it you feel a huge sense of accomplishment and it lasts for a few days maybe a week and then you are online finding yourself wanting more. Or shopping at Target or Nordstroms or the fabric store. AAAAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh. It seems like an endless vicious wanting cycle sometimes. I always want beautiful stuff...like one of Lisa Congdon's new mixed media pieces using old library cards...or one of Ashley's pieces....or a new floor in your house(from Morran's flickr site)...or a new car that is smaller and fits in more parking spaces...or a really cute new pair of boots...or these boots....whatever it is when you see 'IT' it stays in your head and if you are me you are always plotting a way to get it. So why not use this talent , if you can call it that, to get a super fab career for yourself. So you can help your family, put your daughter thru college, take a vacation a year and someday own your own fab house????? I keep asking myself this question and once again I find myself stuck in the endless circle of insanity that is my life.
Don't get me wrong...it's a wonderful life and I am truly blessed in many ways...just not with a career that can keep up with my desires or needs to make a difference...somehow...someway....even if that difference is just within myself. xo
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